Feast of the Prophet Elijah, Father and Founder of Carmel, July 20th, 2025:
“The charity that the Church manifested in apostolic times and which converted thousands, if not millions, of pagans will never be seen again if such practices are not abolished and religious life once again built on mutual fraternal charity working together to love God and neighbor.”
(anonymous Third Order Carmelite)
I had a very eye opening conversation recently with a dear former nun, who came from the same Carmel as myself, though different foundations at different times, and she said something very thought provoking: “if this is contemplative life, I want no part of it.” She hit the nail on the head. She is now a Mother Superior for a community of Missionary Sisters and speaking to her about our shared experience was wonderful, and confirmed what I believed to be true all along:
That the problem wasn’t REALLY from the Carmel we came from, though it certainly has plenty of systemic issues and nearly destroyed my faith, but it actually comes from Teresa’s constitutions beginning with her reform. It was difficult to come to this conclusion but when I came to the root of the problem, it’s the reform. I’m sure I’ll make a LOT of OCDs mad with this one, but if I can say this honestly and openly, having come directly from living discalced life, I think anyone with an open mind can take to heart what I’m going to share. Why did discalced life leave me with a very bitter taste in my mouth even though Carmel is the only order I desire? The answer brings me back to Sister’s statement:
“If this is contemplative life, I want no part of it.”
I’ve always been a John of the Cross kind of soul over Teresa of Jesus. While I appreciate and admire her spunk and courage, I find her writings to be unorganized (sorry)- jumping from one thought to another while often forgetting what subject she was talking about- while John just drew me in hook, line and sinker (I have a huge volume of all his collected works and that man is a true poet). I say none of this to tarnish the life of a saint and Doctor; I’ve posted what I admire about Teresa here and here. As a Doctor she has done some immense work in “healing” the Church in other ways and no doubt that is why she was gifted that title and a part of me will always see her as a Mother figure despite my critique on her reform.
But I personally would rather perish than ever again be discalced. I know that statement sounds hyperbolic but maybe after I explain why, the reader might understand. I won’t touch much on my own specific and personal experiences, outside of a few comical examples, because while I WAS extremely bitter about my former Carmel for a while, I’m a different person now and that bitterness has turned to gratitude. I LOVE the religious vocation SO MUCH SO, with all of my heart, that I would rather stay, fight and make it better from within than choose any other path outside of Carmel, because contemplatives especially are the beating heart of Holy Mother Church. And as overused as this quote is, it is still nothing but true and applies to the specific task of contemplatives:
“In the HEART OF THE CHURCH MY MOTHER I SHALL BE LOVE.”
Therese of the Child Jesus and of the Holy Face
If there’s no charity in the contemplative life (as well as the fulfillment of the Law), love will NOT be supplied to the heart of the Church. I’m grateful for the experiences God allowed me suffer in discalced life because good was brought out of evil, and I see so clearly now, in retrospect, what needs to be fixed and weeded out in Our Lady’s order. Indeed ALL THINGS worked together for the good (Romans 8:28). I do remember thinking that some of my former Carmel’s customs were weird- they were- and one of my priests there said that the customs were not likely from Teresa… but here’s the interesting thing, THEY WERE. There are customs, ceremonials, rules and constitutions.
Each religious order has their own and one becomes very familiar with them relatively quickly because when you’re living the same schedule day in and day out, it’s not rocket science, to be blunt, to catch on to the routine. The sad truth is you’re always going to have mean, disgruntled or even creepy nuns. I read a story in Carmel about Therese being placed in charge of the novices and one of them HID IN THE ATTIC?! If that’s not creepy, I don’t know what is. What the? Who does that? And of course the horror stories we all hear about of the power hungry, jealous Mother Superiors who actually WANT TO BE MOTHER SUPERIORS (that’s like wanting to be the pope- who wants to be pope?) and will do anything to hang on to that power.
Honestly, these are the stories that made me never want to be a nun, because does any of that sound appealing? Who in their right mind would willingly sign up for that? Think of the movies made about religious life: Sound of Music and a Nun’s Story make being a bride of Christ seem downright droll, and a prison (we will get to that). The only film I would truly recommend about authentic vocations to the religious life, that is a real tear jerker, is 1966’s Trouble with Angels, starring Haley Mills, who is known for her main role in Disney’s Pollyanna and original Parent Trap, about a trouble maker named Mary sent away to a boarding school run by nuns.
She’s… hilarious. She and her sidekick best friend Rachel pull all kinds of pranks on the nuns, like putting soap in the coffee sugar and pulling fire alarms. It’s just so raw and honest. Mary starts out detesting religious life and the head of the school’s Mother Superior, and it ends with her ENTERING RELIGIOUS LIFE. You see her struggle throughout the movie as you see her come to terms with the fact that God is indeed calling her. I have three favorite scenes and I’ll share two below and save the VERY best for the end of this post because it ties in with my whole theme about what must be restored in the religious life. The below conversation is Rev. Mother telling Mary why she chose to become a nun:
Mother Superior: Paris was my mother’s home before she’d immigrated to Quebec and married my father. I’d lost my parents within three months of each other. The flu epidemic. I was 16. Well, I went to live in Paris. My uncle arranged for my apprenticeship with a well known couterier. Of course, I was only a seamstress, but I had visions of creating my own designs and the house of Madeline Rousch challenging the great Channel. That was my name, Madeline Rousch. I remember standing behind the curtains with the fitters when the collections were shown. The buyers came from all over the world. Many times as I watched the models display the gowns, I’d think “Now I would have done that one differently. Used a different fabric. Something that had more movement, more mystery.” Oh, I know it’s vanity, of course. But I think I could have made a success of it.
Mary Clancy: But how could you give it up?
Mother Superior: I found something better.
Short clip of the scene: I urge you to watch all the short clips I provide as the acting is stellar
And:
This below quote is when Rev. Mother is at her wits end with enduring all of Rachel and Mary’s pranks that she almost sends them home, but last minute changes her mind when she finds out about Mary’s broken home:
Mother Superior: Rachel? Well, Rachel has a home and parents who love her. She’s a follower, not a leader. She can be guided. But Mary… oh, Mary has a will of iron. To bend but not to break… to yield but not capitulate… to have pride but also humility. This has always been my struggle. Can I be less tolerant of Mary than the Church has been of me?
Short clip of the scene:
THAT video clip is what the heart of a true Mother looks like. What’s also most shocking is that this film is from 1966 and this was during the time where most films were smothered in the “hippy free love” movement, specifically centered on women LEAVING religious life, not entering it. So this movie was a hidden pearl; a pleasant and joyful surprise. I still remember watching this with my Grammie and the countless times we would look at each other at these heart felt scenes with tears in our eyes BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THE RELIGIOUS VOCATION IS ALL ABOUT: It’s radical. It’s supernatural. It’s beautiful. Those who have heard the call, know exactly what I’m talking about! You can’t run from it, because Our Lord makes Himself so utterly irresistible to His future brides that one can’t help but fall to their knees and surrender all to Him willingly.
Example of the weirdest custom in the history of customs:
Talking to a sister in the third person. What do I mean by this? This was the weirdest and most unnatural custom of all and is one of the comical examples I will be sharing that I had in the Carmel I came from. I do not think I ever really got used to it (because it’s unnatural?) and when I later spoke to another Carmelite foundation and told them about it, a Sister jokingly replied after being asked, “what does this produce?” with the answer of, “insanity”? It was exceedingly refreshing to hear a Carmelite say that! Talking to a Sister in the third person is a requirement of postulants and novices, and in a sense even the professed, because while the professed could speak directly to each other, they had to speak in the third person to talk to the postulants and novices. Confused, yet? You should be. Here’s an example of how conversations take place at recreation:
Me: Mother, Benedicite (permission) to tell Sister X that she did a great job milking the cow this morning? (makes eye contact with Sister X, but I have to hold the conversation with Mother)
Mother: Yes
Sister X: (while looking at Mother) Benedicite to tell Sister (me), “thank you”?
Mother: Yes.
Me: Mother, Benedicite to tell Sister X “you’re welcome”?
Do you see my point? Just how EXHAUSTING… stupid… and unnatural it is? And imagine having two hours of this type of recreation a day. I already detested recreation as I wanted more solitude, but to add on these nonsensical ways of communicating to a fellow Sister, as well? There is always a “middleman” so to speak and the middle man is either the Mother Prioress, the Novice Mistress or the oldest black veil in the room (and by oldest I mean who has been a black veil the longest; it has nothing to do with age), and the conversation always looks the way it does above. That is why speakroom visits were so cringeworthy to me (they were cringeworthy anyways for other reasons I won’t delve into here), because I did not know if I was allowed to speak to the people on the other side directly in the first person, but it’s strange how the Mothers themselves basically said we needed to appear normal in the speakroom, as if they knew we were not having normal conversations behind closed doors. That is why that one Sister saying that a custom like that produces nothing but insanity, was music to my ears.
Now that you understand what I mean by customs, let us dive into some of the downright CRINGEWORTHY constitutions of Teresa shall we?
Monastery prisons:
That same Sister I opened this post with, as well as a true orthodox and fatherly priest, also had a discussion about what happened to John of the Cross when the reform was beginning. I reminded them that when John was imprisoned and wrote some of his greatest works (my personal favorite Spiritual Canticle and Dark Night), we forget that he was abducted and imprisoned by HIS OWN BROTHERS IN THE MONASTERY. I will never forget their reactions when I told them this, but it was the moment of realization where you see that these customs came from their Carmel, even before the reform, and Teresa merely continued to adopt them throughout her new constitutions.
John was in the prison for so long that the habit rotted on his body. He was brutally treated there, isolated in a ten-by-six foot cell, and subjected to lashings, darkness, extremes in temperature, and near-starvation. Nine months later, he managed to escape through a small window in a room adjoining his cell. I mean… I don’t know about you, but this is making Carmel look more and more appealing, no? Heavy emphasis on the sarcasm. So the fact that John could come from THAT and for Teresa to still see no issue with adopting these downright creepy customs is beyond me. That does not make me prideful or “out of line” for saying that; it makes me, I don’t know, normal?
Discalced Constitutions:
CHAPTER XIX #5 states “If anyone manifestly rises up against the Mother Prioress, or against her Superiors, or if she invents, or does against them something that is neither permissible nor honest, she will do the above penance, forty days and will be deprived of voice and session at the Chapter, and of the Office she had, whatever it may be. That if, by any conspiracy of this kind or malicious conspiracy, it happens that Seculars interfere in these things, to confusion, defamation, damage to the Sisters or the Monastery, the Religious who have done so will be put in prison , and will be detained there according to the greatness of the scandal that will have happened. And if on the occasion of this there are divisions and partialities in the Monastery, those who make them and those who favor them will incur the sentence of excommunication and will be imprisoned.
“Those who have conspired against the Mother Prioress.”
You know what this reminds of? MUTINY. If sailors on board a ship happened to have a crazy captain in charge and they decided to team up and rebell against his wrong doings, it is the SAILORS charged with mutiny, not the captain. Same with abandoning ship rather than endure the treatment. Seem unfair? Because it is. But compare this to the current state of the Church. Past saints were seen as “mutants” aboard her ship, who were seemingly disobedient to actual heretics in Church, but were on the right side of history with choosing to die in exile rather than compromise the true faith.
My issue with these so called “laws” are that even if the Sister, or in the case of John as a friar, did not do anything wrong in the eyes of God, but the Mother’s OPINION of “conspiracy” makes her believe one of her daughter’s should be punished, that is a dangerous path to tread as a Superior. Many Superiors today confuse their own will with God’s will. And may I remind readers: the reason John was imprisoned by his own brothers were because THEY DID NOT WANT HIM TO REFORM THEIR ORDER. He did not sin; his own friars simply did not want him making changes to their then constitutions.
#6 states “If someone takes the boldness to receive, give or read letters without the leave of the Mother Prioress, or send something out, or receive for her what is given to her”(I will come back to this later).
CHAPTER XX #7 states “If someone seeks for himself or for others something of ambition or Offices, or something else against the Constitutions of Religion: such Religious will be put in prison with fasts and abstinences more or less according to quantity or quality of the crime, and according to the discretion of the Mother Prioress, or of the Superiors or Visitor. The Sisters will lead to prison as soon as they are ordered by the Mother Prioress, on pain of rebellion, any Religious who have committed such faults, and will not speak to her while she is in prison, if they are not those who keep it and none of them will send him anything, on the same pains. If the imprisoned Nun leaves prison, the one who will have custody of her, or the one who will have given cause for her release, being convinced of this, will be put in the same prison and will remain there as long as the crimes of the one who was prisoner deserve.
#8 states “There must be an ordered prison where one can put those who will commit these things, and being prisoners for these scandalous faults, they can only be delivered by the Superiors or Visitor.”
Monastery whippings:
Words from a dear Third Order Carmelite and her opinion of Teresa’s “constitutional” whipping:
“I was pleased to hear you will not be doing the discipline. I was a bit surprised that trad convents strike other nuns on the arms for questioning the superior. It shows a lack of charity and reduces women to the status of disobedient children.”
Let that sink in. One is reduced to an adult toddler.
Discalced Constitutions:
CHAPTER XIX #2 states If someone strikes one of the Sisters out of malice, she incurs the sentence of excommunication for this fact, and all of her must flee.”
#4 states “she will prostrate herself on the spot, devoutly asking forgiveness, and uncovering her shoulders, will receive the sentence worthy of her [whipping] demerits with discipline, as much as it pleases the Mother Prioress. And after she has been ordered to get up, she will go to the cell that the Mother Prioress will tell her, and no one will be so bold to go and speak to her, nor send her anything, so that by this means she will know that it is separated from the Convent and deprived of the company of the Angels. She will not take communion; no Office will be ordained to her; no obedience will be enjoined upon her; nothing will be commanded to her: on the contrary, she will be deprived of the Office she had before. She will have neither voice nor session at the Chapter, except for her accusation: she will be the last of all, until full and complete satisfaction. She will not sit down with the others, but she will sit in the middle of the Refectory, on the bare floor, wearing her cloak, and will have nothing but bread and water.
Issues with self whippings (the discipline):
That same Third Order Carmelite I mentioned above also said this:
“Sisters whipping themselves and each other seems to undermine the fraternal charity that religious life is supposed to exemplify. With all the abuse prevalent in society (including the religious life and priesthood), one would think that such practices would be shunned. I hope you were not whipped while you were in the convent [I wasn’t, don’t worry]. Truly awful.”
The Carmelite Sister Martyrs will NOT follow the constitutions of Teresa of Jesus- ONLY the rule of Saint Albert of Jerusalem whose rule long predates the discalced reform. While we revere her as a Mother in some ways and are edified by her writings which made her Doctor of the Church, her use of corporal punishment in the form of having her daughters bare their arms to be whipped for merely questioning the Mother Prioress (hypocritical how Sisters are forbidden to strike each other for pain of excommunication but it’s okay for Rev. Mother to do so), imprisoned in Monastery prisons and even stripped of their office, the Sacraments and only fed bread and water for 40 days in form of “punishment” is utterly medieval and lacks charity that John of the Evangelist preached until his death.
The issue with these constitutions is that this type of “spirit” (not the Holy One) has been carried down to the present day where today’s Mother Superiors have the attitude of “anything goes” because if even Teresa said it’s okay to whip her daughters, well no wonder Superiors today think they can get away with other forms of cruel and UNMOTHERLY behavior. The discalced form of the “Discipline”, where Habits are lifted up, pants and underwear pulled down in order to be self-whipped with chains while essentially naked (done in privacy of cells and in some monasteries in common) breaks the vow of chastity and has a sexual element to it that can also be a form of grooming. Sorry to be so blunt and scandalize any readers, but this is often brushed under the rug and not only is this practice NOT holy, but it does nothing to protect one’s chastity. People will gaslight you and say that “only those pure enough will understand this form of discipline”, when “no”, only one with common sense trying to become a saint can see that corporal punishment and whipping your naked body in the presence of the angels is not Catholic. Spare me the gaslighting!
Weird custom #2 and worst case scenario when applying Teresa’s above constitutions:
No correcting a superior EVER: One of those times was when I saw my Superior acting in an uncharitable manner to me and I gently, on my knees, pointed it out and she made me kiss the floor and told me it’s not allowed, nor a custom, to correct a superior, ever. I cannot tell you how many times I look back and see how much I was gaslit time and time again. In this particular instance, when I shared with two priests on the property what happened, both said Mother was wrong and expressed genuine surprise that we couldn’t correct our superiors, at all. Father, also an exorcist, so memorably said, “I do not agree with that” after I told him I had to kiss the floor for calling her wrong doing out. The comical part about what he said directly after that occurrence still makes me chuckle:
Father:… “Well did she change? Was she nicer after that?” (essentially asking me if it was at least worth kissing the floor and being chastised for speaking my truth)
Me: “Yeah… but it only lasted about a week” (then she was grumpy again)
This priest made me laugh and he was sympathetic. I look back and I had some genuine, real and hilarious conversations with my on property priests and a few visiting priests. While I had to hide my emotions from my Mother Superiors, because we were essentially groomed to do so, I went all in with opening up to the priests about the weird experiences I was undergoing in the discalced life. We were not allowed to speak with priests about matters going on in the inside of the monastery (red flag? What are we trying to hide?). Once I was given an hourglass when I was speaking with a Carmelite Priest from France and he asked, “why did they give you that?” and when it went out, he comically said, “Can you flip it over again?” In retrospect I simply remember the priests being as dumbfounded as I was at our customs, which I realize now stem back to Teresa’s constitutions. They just do. There is no way around that truth.
Common sense tells us, as Catholics above all else, that if we ever see something wrong, we must, in all humility, point it out to our Superior, even if that means it’s them we have to correct. Though we are not looking to correct our Superiors just for the sake of it, we have a duty to do so when something is harmful! Do you think I personally enjoyed telling my Novice Mistress that she was behaving in a manner unbefitting of a Mother? I could care less about kissing the floor; humility is a must, but speaking the truth is not easy and I was not expecting to be met with a reprimand when she was the one in the wrong. Human Superiors are NOT above criticism. But go back and re-read Teresa constitutions about what happens to a Sister for questioning the prioress: prison time, worst case scenario. Or should I say EXCOMMUNICATION? Dramatic much? Laugh out loud.
I can’t help but smile and shake my head while typing this. Or whipping… best case scenario? Or how about that 40 day fast where the Sister can’t even look at you! You tell me if any of this sounds normal to you. It reminds me of the Third Order Carmelite quote above of being reduced to disobedient children rather than religious. These punishments are just so melodramatic, and all for what? Simply questioning the Prioress. On second thought, after reading all that, no wonder that one Sister of Therese’s hid in the attic. Here’s a basic test of common sense: can YOU imagine sending someone you love to a prison in your basement, whipping them or making them fast for 40 days because they… criticized you (right or wrong)?
Here’s a bigger test, can you imagine Our Lady doing this? I am guessing your answer is “no” to both. If it’s not, maybe get your head examined. But here is a scary thought… imagine Teresa behaving this way to her daughters as is likely the case since these are HER constitutions. SHE WROTE THEM. It is scandalous to put it mildly. It honestly led me to have a real aversion to her to the point where I brought this concern to my priest. He reminded me that even the saints did not always get it right and that I needed to consider the medieval time period she lived in; he was not justifying her actions but helping me grasp the reality of why even a saint would behave in this uncharitable manner. It helped!
We were even told to not ask curious questions, which I was told later is not Catholic, because blind obedience can also lead to sin. Our Lord says, “but who do you say that I am?” He invites us to use our minds for His glory and learn to discern through the gifts and fruits of the Holy Ghost. We can’t ask curious questions, but they curiously read all our ingoing and outgoing mail? Double standard, much? This is where I want to present you with a scenario of “what if”. WHAT IF you indeed stood up for what is right, were abused or punished and sincerely wanted to get word to your family to come get you, but the Prioress would not let you write or send the letter. That’s a scary thought. That is also why John of the Cross finally resorted to escaping AFTER NINE MONTHS.
I understand these are worse case scenarios, but again, common sense tells me that there is a major double standard with “curiosity”. Teresa claims our messages to our family could reveal or lead to worldly talk, but it actually boils down to how cults operate: they do not want us sharing too much “with outsiders”. Teresa wrote that climbing over the enclosure wall is excommunication worthy… if one wants to escape? Sounds manipulative. Again, common sense tells me so. Similar customs are practiced in the demonic Opus Dei group.
I am 100% serious. Look up the horror stories of that group and it makes Teresa’s customs look semi normal (almost). Discalced has quite frankly turned out to be a type of cancer within Carmel. Again, I know that is a very strong statement, but I have taken many years of reflection to understand and comprehend what in the world I went through just trying to make sense of it. But that is what happens in abusive relationships; you sit there and just wrack your brain with, “what just happened”? I have also witnessed a very disordered pride where the discalced are very competitive with O’Carms or any other Carmel not associated with the reform as inferior and not worth their notice. They treat their daughters like servants rather than friends. Our Lord will back me up with why this is totally alien to His spirit and that of His Mother:
“I will not call you servants: for the servant knoweth not what his lord doth.”
(John 15:15)
Conclusion:
We never want to get to a place where we are normalizing abuse. Do not let those in the Church, especially in the upper hericarchy, gaslight you about how it’s totally normal to suffer this kind of treatment in religious life. Just “offer it up” they will tell you. NO. “MY FATHER’S HOUSE IS A HOUSE OF PRAYER AND YOU HAVE MADE IT A DEN OF THIEVES” (Matthew and Luke) Our Lord said. We want a house of charity for Jesus and Mary. Pure and simple. And Carmel is Mary’s order and She deserves the best from Her daughters. She also wants the best for Her daughters. And it’s completely rational to settle for nothing less. Notice how Our Lord ONLY took out the whip to KICK OUT the thieves; He did not turn around and start striking His apostles. In our case, our thieves are the abusers because they are thieves of our souls. And if someone tells you, “oh you just can’t handle it” (another form of gaslighting by the way), you can shoot right back and say,
“You’re right. I cannot handle abuse because Christ did not create me to be abused, and certainly not by those who are supposed to represent Him.”
Women belong in the home and are the heart of the home. Holy Mother Church is a HOUSE (household and hospital), where she teaches, governs and sanctifies all men, and traditional women either belong in the home in the sacrament of marriage where they are the heart of the home, or in a convent, where they are the heart of the monastery. THIS is true femininity. Teresa got a lot right, but she also got a lot wrong. She once said, “we must have no women in this house… we need to be strong men”; the Spanish translates to “bearded men.” Why I humbly disagree with her is women need to stop trying, and saying, they can do everything men can do. A brilliant Third Order Carmelite once said that women are supposed to be almost ethereal. Hence, why indeed Judith disarmed a whole army.
Therefore, under the guidance of Mary and Her example, our goal is to be as feminine as possible, as authentic femininity does not mean we lack spiritual strength. We love the role of priests and traditional manhood, and yet we also understand that our role, no less precious, is different. Before the fall there was perfect harmony among the sexes; we see that so sublimely displayed in the bond of Our Lord and Our Lady. So, sorry Teresa, we will not be parading around as bearded men! I am of course poking fun at Teresa, with love, but I also think she expressed the above because if you read her The Way of Perfection she lamented how she often was not taken seriously as a woman, specifically by priests, and that is why I speak of the harmony that needs to be restored if we are going to fight the ancient serpent together. Remember who the real enemy is, so to speak; it is not against flesh and blood, but powers and principalities.
I try to have understanding and sympathy for Teresa because it is true, the time in which she lived made her a product of her customs, that ultimately made her see them as “normal” in her constitutions. But did you know there is a special level in hell for Superiors? Obviously Teresa is not one of them as she is a saint and Doctor, but I would not want that on my conscience if I were in a leadership position. We need to get back to common sense, basic humanity, true charity and all of that combined with the Law: strictly the Latin Mass, a total rejection of the Novus Ordo (Bogus Ordo One World government creation), a total rejection of Vatican II and not accept compromise in any way, shape or form with the Mass or papacy. Just as Moses would not compromise one jot when dealing with Pharaoh. If Teresa was truly ignorant of these behaviors being foreign to the Magnificat… I guess I can understand, but I think it is also time that we openly say that we can let these customs go and not look back, unless it’s to learn a valuable lesson about what NOT to do.
Who am I? I am no saint or Doctor and so if you’re questioning, “who are you to question SAINT Teresa?” Well, according to Mary Agreda, Satan had the same attitude of “how could an un-qualified Palestinian girl be chosen to be the Mother of God”? Save the credentials argument for Lucifer. The Pharisees also had this attitude toward none other than Our Lord and the apostles (simple fishermen with next to NO experience). We hear them accuse Christ the King thus,
The Jews therefore said to Him: Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham?
John 8:57
How doth this Man know letters, having never learned?
John 7:15
This is my simple question to you, then, if you are asking us, two simple women who desire to live a holy religious life as authentic Carmelites, these same questions asked by these same power hungry hypocrites: consider asking yourself, why? Why the credentials argument? If God is calling whom He pleases, when He pleases and souls today have the holy desire to give Him ALL as a true contemplative, don’t you think you might need to check your humility? I also say that with humility. Like Our Lord, we have been schooled in Mary; Our Lord, too, was not formed in the Temple, as Aflavia and I have not been formed in the “normal” religious process, sense of the word.
And I can assure you, no amount of religious experience or number of degrees can ever equal all that Mary teaches the soul through Her Marian Vow (you can read all about this Vow on our site created by Max Kolbe). In a radical sense, Our Lord is the first One to live this glorious Vow, and our credentials are His credentials. Saint Alphonsus Ligouri once lamented that the priesthood was creating little devils; that was during his own time. Can you imagine how much worse it is today with the priesthood and religious life? A priest friend of mine joked and said today there would be “little gay devils.”
We shouldn’t be creating devils, but saints! Consider also, for another moment, that Aflavia and I have been providentially sheltered from the current state of religious life where compromise is either met, with the Mass or the papacy, or true charity is not practiced? That same priest told me how Alphonsus also said souls with a vocation should not live with their families for long periods of time, but that he never could have foreseen the current crisis of the Church and how in our time it’s safer to be in the home than a monastery. I once heard a priest tell me that it takes a mere thirty years to discern the call to the desert; I laughed as I later read how Saint Rose of Lima lived as a hermit and she died exactly at age 30. I thought, “good thing she didn’t wait, she would have been dead!” (lucky her, though either way).
Lastly, I promised you I would save the best for last. In Trouble With Angels when Mary is announced as one of the two girls who will be entering the novitiate after graduation, she doesn’t tell her best friend Rachel because she is afraid she will not be supportive. Rachel reacts in the very way Mary expects and the movie ends with this powerful scene of farewell. Fun fact, but this scene was filmed in the very town in California I went to High School, in Monrovia. It was a famous train station. I still can’t get over watching this with my Papa and Grammie and Pop says, “that’s the Monrovia train station; I used to play there all the time with my friends as a boy.” Grammie and I said, “yeah right, that’s not Monrovia train station.” Sure enough we look it up and Pop was right. He said, “I know what I’m talking about.” He’s the best. This scene usually makes me burst into tears, even grown men likely will.
Mother Superior: She’s made a difficult and courageous decision.
Rachel: It wasn’t her decision.
Mother: Yes it was. Rachel, look at me. It was her decision. You of all people should know how strong she is. She didn’t yield. She chose. And I would rather have one right Mary who chooses than a 100 who yield. She has so much to give. All our sisters do, but Mary will give with joy and laughter… and defiance I imagine. In fact, I have a feeling that someday many people, even those in the highest places will know that Mary Clancy came our way.
Carmelite Sister Martyrs 