September 23rd, 2025
Saint Paul Series Part 2/3
In part one of my Saint Paul Series, where I began with the biblical evidence of his “office” being Best Man to Holy Mother Church, I briefly mentioned how I dropped out of college (my version of “dropping my net”) to pursue Our Lord as Bridegroom through religious life. What I purposely left out, to be zeroed in on in today’s Part Two Post, is the lead up to this decision, why it really was my “sacrificial ram” I would later “offer up” and how it all began with my Grandpa Ken, and Saint Paul. No pun intended with the “sacrificial ram” because the college I dropped out of was Colorado State University and our mascot was the Ram. Leave it to Our Lord.
My Grandpa Ken was a Cross Country/Track and Field runner; following in his footsteps I ran the same in high school and almost had the opportunity to run in college but last minute “Providence” had me switch to Colorado State University. I was what you called an “endurance” runner (long distance). “Ken”, as was my tender nickname for him, shared this loved verse of Paul that he even coined on a trophy for one of his students, for he later became a coach:
“Tribulation worketh patience”.
Romans 5:4
Another, that is still particularly my favorite, translates to: “Endurance produces character” (this was the version he chose on the trophy). Above all, this “endurance” is tested, tried, and cast into the furnace during times of waiting (our temperaments, like Paul’s, are put to the test, and purified). Jesus and Mary knew in advance all that was to befall Them. What did They do?
They WAITED for the day of the crucifixion… year after year, after year. Thirty-three years. With endurance comes forbearance, fortitude and heroic patience- only brought about by “tribulation” as Paul stated. I was reminded of this while reading Pope Leo’s homily in the breviary for Matins for the Feast of the Transfiguration when the Church’s Wedding Ring, Peter, got all “caught up” in Our Lord’s Glory (I don’t blame him):
“Ask for ENDURANCE rather than for glory.”
That is a tough pill to swallow. Endurance rather than glory? That does not come naturally, to put it mildly. When Cross Country season was just beginning, the entire first week of practice was utter agony; I could barely walk. I would be limping around my high school campus wondering, “if I am having a hard time walking, how will I run at practice?” When I opened my eyes, first thing in the morning that first week, it often felt like the only muscle in my body that did not ache, were my eyelids.
I did not want to move, because I knew everything would hurt. But I forced myself to “get it together” and run another three to six miles or so that very day. I was sore because muscles in my body, that were not often used, were being exorcised in a new way. The only other time I felt this kind of, er, agony, outside other sports I did, was when I walked the Way of Saint James, the Camino de Santiago in Spain, where your journey ends at the tomb of Mary’s favorite Apostle, James.
I titled a former Blog Post on Mary’s Secretary: Waiting is the Cross. Perhaps, just like Track and Field, there are short-distance runners and long-distance runners in the spiritual life. Have you ever noticed that in the word endurance is endure? Even though I was in physical pain as a runner, I kept running the miles each day. Overtime, it did not hurt as much because my muscles adjusted (more like you learn to be in perpetual pain with a better attitude, which is certainly the case as a Catholic, too 🙄).
In short, in order to see this endurance expand, we simply have to continue carrying out our daily duties for our state in life, all the while bearing our cross (suffering well). “Tribulation.” When I ran track, in particular with relay races, there are four runners who work together for what’s called a 400 meter race. This is one full lap around the track, sprinted. It seems short, but it was actually one of the hardest races on the roster and I dreaded it (understatement).
It also typically, and most inconveniently, came after the two mile race, which was already exhausting, and so to do both of those back to back… was not desirable. The 400 is a full sprint and you have to have the mark of true endurance for this single lap. Each runner runs their full lap and then passes on the baton to their teammate. Every runner in this relay is important, but the team member who is chosen to go last (there’s that word again) ultimately determines the outcome and is seen as the most important member of the team as they determine victory or defeat (the first runner is equally important in a sense, because she sets the pace for the rest).
This runner, chosen to go last, is called “the anchor”. And she has to be the strongest. Why? Let us say the first runner sets the pace and she is passed up and comes in last (not the good kind of “last”) by the time she gives the baton to the second runner. The anchor needs to have the strength to double up on endurance and still at least try for a victory. It can happen; it has!
“The anchor is the final leg of a relay race. The teammate who runs last is referred to as the anchor. This is a position that is typically reserved for the most skilled or experienced member of the team, as it is the anchor’s responsibility to either make up for any lost time or to maintain the team’s lead.”
MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME. Anchors are also found in the Church. Let me explain. If you are coming in last precisely because you are faithful (Our Lord will prune you), perhaps like the track runners, you have been chosen to go last by Our Lord and Our Lady to carry the team (the Church and its members) to victory.
Remember when I said that the “best are saved for last” and compared that to Saint Paul in Part One, because he is the Church’s Best Man? I promise all this running will all tie into Saint Paul, Ken, Providence and a miracle story. Saint Paul, and souls destined to lay down their lives for the triumph of Mary’s Heart have to wait, often times a VERY long time, before the baton is passed off to them:
Waiting is a period of preparation. It’s also a period of expectation. In this “wait” slaves of Mary appear as “fools” to the world, because they are exactly what Saint Louis de Montfort describes as “Mary’s heel”. A select number of souls (Her elect) form this heel that are PREPARING to crush the head of the snake and WAITING for this promise: “in the END My Immaculate Heart will triumph”.
The foot is the most humble part of the body and so, Mary’s lowly servants, “lowly” like the “base” of the body known as the heel, feel all the weight of that body (the Church). But this “weight” carried by Mary’s chosen servants, aided by Her grace and strengthened by Her arm, will ultimately, through pain and ridicule, be victorious in crushing Satan’s head, because God’s chosen “vessels” are often NOT what Satan or the world expects.
But that is because when THE victory happens, even pagans will have no choice but to admit all glory belongs to God and attribute this final triumph to Him. That is what Our Lord is choosing to achieve through Mary (the prophet Elijah saw this “foot”). The whole world will have no choice but to credit victory to God’s triumphing through Mary’s Immaculate Heart.
Therese once said that Our Lord tends to give souls what they want, right away, if they have a weaker faith. But His true friends are treated like His Mother and His true friends also rely solely on Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence. The word “anchor” is in the vocation of the “ANCHORite”. What’s absolutely ironic is I despised running. I grew to loathe it overtime, even to the point where I developed a stomach ulcer because it made me THAT nervous.
But indeed… “all things work together for the good”. I’m getting ahead of myself! Why bring up running? What on earth does any of this have to do with Saint Paul and Ken? Everything. Stay with me. You see, Ken was the very one who introduced me to Saint Paul, and it was because of him I was even able to attend Colorado State University. As I mentioned in Part One, I believed the feminist lie that women need fancy degrees and so that was my main focus at the time.
God, through Ken, made it financially possible for me to attend a four year university at an out of state school. I didn’t want to attend a community college because I wanted to leave home. Why I said it was indeed “Providence” that I last minute decided to attend Colorado State was because if I never stepped foot in the state of Colorado, I never would have discovered the thriving Catholic College parish that also offered the Latin Mass where I initially heard the call to be Christ’s bride.
Colorado was like the land “flowing with milk and honey” for me (Exodus) and it felt like my personal promise land after a season spent in Egypt. While other students cried out of homesickness, I didn’t shed a single tear (at least not of sorrow). I had never been happier. Ken made all this possible. Though protestant, he believed and supported my vocation all the way up to his miraculous death (I’ll end with that). Even after paying for my tuition, he understood God was asking me to leave my classes and follow Him. That’s what unconditional love looks like in a true servant of God; he never saw my time spent at CSU as a waste, nor his money spent as forfeit, but a stepping stone to passing me up to the Beloved!
Unfortunately, tuition was too expensive my second year and Ken having to help carry this load (even giving up his piano lessons to help pay off my loans) as a true fatherly figure would, recognized that I might not have enough funds to pay for my second semester of sophomore year.
I can’t explain to readers how difficult this season was for me. To leave Colorado, my “promised land” after I finally found a safe haven seemed unjust. I would cry and cry and cry, go to Mass, and cry some more. I remember being determined to turn my back on Our Lord because it felt as though I was being punished merely for being faithful.
I was trying to hold down different jobs at different times AND study, and I envied the Catholic students who didn’t struggle financially and were just able to focus on their studies and prayer. The resentment and confusion would build toward Our Lord and His mysterious ways, but then I would find myself walking to the chapel for Mass, again, to be with Him.
Something, or Someone, always brought me back. Fighting against the goad? It was around this very time as my Fall Semester was coming to a close that I only had a few weeks to come up with next semester’s tuition and I just… didn’t have the funds.
I can’t tell you the anxiety I experienced during this season of uncertainty. This is where the miracle story surrounding Ken and Paul enters the scene. Ken bought both of us football tickets to watch Colorado State University versus Washington State University face off in a Bowl Game in New Mexico.
I flew in from Colorado and he flew in from California where we attended this miraculous game in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Before football went all woke, I was a fan for a time in college and the reason I call this game “miraculous” is because… it really was. Even my Grammie, when I first wrote out the story for her in a draft, said she was figuratively hanging off the edge of her seat waiting to hear the outcome, and she is NO FOOTBALL FAN.
I say that, because believe me, one doesn’t have to be a sports fan to see God’s Divine Hand in this mere football game, to see He was even at work in something as silly as a ball game to send me a sign of hope; now I see it as a valuable lesson I reflect on quite often. December 21st, 2013, in that football stadium, was the day I was officially officially (yes, I meant to say officially twice) introduced to the Church’s Best Man, Saint Paul, through Ken.
I went into this game just trying to distract myself from what the future and what the next few weeks would have in store. Would a miracle occur for me to stay in school? It didn’t seem possible. As Ken and I were taking our seats reserved on our tickets, he enthusiastically said, “do you know what seat number you’re sitting in?!” 8:28…? I can’t recall if it was R 8:28 (letters for the rows), but looking back it must have been because it got Ken strangely excited. He said it was the powerful verse of SAINT PAUL:
“And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to His purpose, are called to be saints.”
~Roman’s 8:28~
He made it sound like I really hit the jackpot when it came to assigned seating and I’ll never forget that moment. Between Ken’s childlike joy as he shared the verse and the words of Paul themself, I was hooked. Not only did I KNOW we would win the game, but that I would be back in school spring semester. Saint Paul’s verse was all it took. The game began, and almost immediately things were terrible.
I know, I know, how do I go from a hope filled sentence such as the former to such a dreary statement? Yet, this was what made the ending sweeter. I see that, now. In just the first half, second quarter, the score was Washington 34 and Colorado a measly 13. By the time half time came the New Mexico Winter weather was FREEZING and Ken and I went through one or two large hot chocolates to stay warm.
People began LEAVING at some point to which Ken himself, who was a big football fan, finally asked me if we should leave, too. I think I hesitated maybe only momentarily but then firmly said, “NO, we came all this way”, and I also held firmly to the words of Saint Paul and my seat number.
With only ten minutes left in the 4th quarter, Washington still dominated with the score of 44 and Colorado 30. It wasn’t as hopeless as before, but time was running out (this is where God does His best work, however). There was only two minutes left with Washington leading at 45 and Colorado 37, and this is where things took… a rather divine turn.
“He who endures to the end will be saved?” And “ALL things work together for the good”? Washington began fumbling a ton of footballs recovered by Colorado State to which helped get us some additional points through field goals etc.
A prior touchdown by Colorado State that was formerly called “no good” was last minute reviewed, again, and MIRACULOUSLY given back to us, to which had Washington and Colorado all tied up at 45/45 with just THIRTY THREE SECONDS LEFT ON THE CLOCK. We all know that’s Our Lord’s glorious number, which is why the freemasons tried to steal it.
Almost immediately, as the 33 seconds begin to count down, Washington State fumbles the ball RECOVERED BY COLORADO STATE with just 27 seconds left on the clock. I remember Ken telling me that all that was needed now was for Colorado to get close enough to get a field goal before the clock runs out. As Colorado inched closer and closer to the goal post, things were really looking hopeful. We could almost taste victory.
Finally, with only 4 seconds left on the clock, the kicker was ready. The kicker’s HEEL comes into contact with the ball and … 4… 3… 2… 1… it goes straight through the goal post and Colorado State wins. Did not I previously say that the HEEL, the FOOT, is the most HUMBLE PART OF THE BODY as I said before, used by Mary as Her Foot comes into contact with the snake to crush his head? In this case, it seems symbolic, now, that as the player’s foot came in contact with the ball, it was the FOOT that won Colorado the game.
I’ll absolutely NEVER forget looking over to my left one moment as Ken and I looked at each other in utter disbelief, and then he was gone! RUNNING DOWN THE BLEACHERS WITH LOADS OF PEOPLE, as he looks back at me and says, “COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!” Ken had more energy than me, I couldn’t believe it.
I instantly ran down to his side and we RAN with a stampede of people to the football team where I am 100% serious, the team got down on their knees, a pagan public school, to thank God for their victory because even they knew something miraculous happened. I got this moment on video at the time, but sadly, I lost it. What I was able to find was video footage of the final field goal and the proof of the winning side running to the team. It was something!
I apologize for the language, as of course some people running by are not clean in their tongue per say, but I sincerely was choked up re watching this footage because what it felt like to me was how all of heaven will react when the final Passion of the Church will be complete.
This game was a metaphor for the Church. Roman’s 8:28 is her verse and it’s THE verse of Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence with Paul as her Best Man and Father, because what this “final passion” will look like will be one of “fumbles”, hardships and people tempted to leave the Church all-together believing her to be defeated. Just as people were tempted to leave the stadium, and many did (sadly). It reminds me of the description of the bride of the Song in the Canticles where she is seen as “black but beautiful”.
She is outwardly afflicted but interiorly adheres to sound doctrine because the Church cannot schism from herself. But don’t you see? Our Lord does His greatest work in the 11th hour. He expects us to wait. To endure. He reminds us that those who WAIT on Him will NOT be confounded. The psalms even remind us to rest in Him and wait patiently for His coming.
It was those FINAL 33 seconds where all those fumbles, hardships and loss of hope began to make sense and WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD. I’ll say it again, he who endures to the END, to the final second, will be saved. And Saint Paul teaches us this through his words on Providence. ALL THINGS indeed work together for the good- the fumbles (even the spiritual fumbles!). Fumbles keeps us humble. What a rhyme. I’m starting to sound like Kamala Harris. Ruh roh, Raggie! At least I’m somewhat coherent, though.
“Many are the afflictions of the just; but out of them all will the Lord deliver them.”
~Psalm 34:19~
“Persecutions, afflictions: such as came upon me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra: what persecutions I endured, and out of them all the Lord delivered me.”
~Saint Paul 2 Timothy 3:11~
Before I end with Ken’s miraculous death story, I must tie this all together, first, with how my intuition was correct: that I would indeed be back in school Spring Semester after receiving what appeared to be a signal grace from the “Roman’s 8:28 football game.” After that game, I flew back to Colorado with renewed faith and with the weeks leading up to school God worked a miracle through my Mom.
She placed a call to the registrars department for classes and a meeting was set up for me to discuss what could be done for me to stay. A hold was placed on my account barring me from registering for Spring Classes until Fall’s tuition was paid and i’ll never forget when I was told that “this has never been done in CSU HISTORY but we are going to place you on a payment plan, lift your hold and let you register for Spring Classes.”
Whenever you hear, “this has never been done before”, just know that is another definition of God’s Providence. This all worked out the FINAL DAY that registration closed and I remember leaving that building knowing my faith was stronger BECAUSE of the tribulation and I was rewarded, yet again, in the 11th hour for leaving it to Providence.
Why CSU was my sacrificial “Ram” (literally, since we were the CSU “Rams”) was because a year and a half later was when I officially heard Our Lord’s call to leave college to become a bride of Christ and knew Our Lord was asking me to “give up” Colorado State, as my “Ram”. The weeks leading up to taking the risk of dropping my classes, were rough. I was torn. I had always loved CSU, and Ken had JUST paid off my over due tuition, and NOW WAS THE TIME TO HEAR THE CALL? It felt like… really bad timing. So something Our Lord is famous for doing!
Classes started at Colorado State for Fall Semester of my junior year and some of the most odd sufferings began to unfold. I started working at the Animal Science meat lab department (basically working inside of a large freezer- it was miserable, and…cold).
I found that I was as happy as I could be off campus, but as soon as my bike tires hit University grounds the most wretched feelings of dread broke over me. I thought I would be so joyful to finally be back in school that meant so much to me and I fought so hard to be there, but I hated it. I really felt rather guilty too, one can’t help their feelings, but I was doing all my homework, doing rather well in my classes, so what was the issue?
Week number two came around and I was absolutely despondent and even depressed. I tried to hide it when I talked to my loved ones in California, but I couldn’t hide it from my friends I went to Mass with at the local parish. It was a Friday and I was sitting in my last class of the day, biology and right beside my binder of notes I placed a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
As I looked at His image full of pain and confusion, the image seemed to say “you know you are not happy.” As soon as the class ended I marched straight to the Animal Science building and went to visit a familiar and friendly face at the front desk, the receptionist of the department, Laura. She knew me extremely well and I confided to her what I was experiencing and I couldn’t believe what she said:
“Did you ever think that perhaps all the suffering you have faced with trying to stay at this school is because you are NOT meant to be here?”
I had never thought of that before and yet, deep down I knew she was right and for once, I was ready to accept that remark. Our Lord, in His “Spousal goodness” let me stay there because I wasn’t ready to give it up, yet, so He gave in to ME. Laura told me to take the weekend to think about what she said and an appointment would be made with my Animal Science advisor first thing Monday morning.
The Priests at my college parish were… far from helpful. They kept telling me to stay and finish my degree. Their advice was too modern for my taste, and they didn’t help my discernment process in this regard at all. Our Lord chose a different door 🚪.
Monday morning arrived, and I would not find out what feast day it was in the Catholic Calendar until I attended daily Mass at the day’s end, when it was all “over”. I took a deep breath, walked into my advisor’s office and spilled my heart to him. I had not realized how much I had kept to myself and was a little baffled in my telling him everything, and I ended my sentence with “and… I think I am called to be a nun….”.
Before I go any further, I must tell you that Colorado State was not a school of religion, let alone a Catholic school, but my advisor was a protestant- we saw eye to eye on a lot of things outside of the Eucharist and Our Lady, but nevertheless a wonderful advisor. What he said next was the sentence that was shocking to say the least, and I am sure it was Christ speaking through him, he said:
“Can I be honest with you? I never saw you at this school or this major. I think you should leave Colorado State University…today. Can I pray over you?”
I think all I heard was “today” and “can I pray over you?” I thought he was going to tell me I was crazy, naive and needed to finish my degree, but he was telling me to leave my path of “success” and choose that of “faith”? Here I had “modern day” priests telling me to finish school, and Our Lord spoke through my Animal Science advisor to tell me to drop out, to turn my back on the culture.
This was proof God chooses anyone He pleases to give us the nudge we need when His representatives fail. He prayed and the words he used of “Lord help her pay off all her debt, get that job back for her at Ace Hardware (I quit to go back to school) and get her to the convent as soon as possible” etc. etc. etc. were striking and filled me with a supernatural courage to do exactly what he “advised” me to do.
It is quite beautiful looking back as he was the exact “adviser”, instrument really, that Our Lady worked through to tell me what God was demanding me to do. I walked across the campus field to the building where one can withdraw from classes and the look on the employees face when I said “I would like to drop out of all my classes” was something to remember: “all of them?”
I never felt more sure when I answered in the affirmative. One of the most liberating moments in my existence was walking out of that building and seeing my path as “I am called to be faithful, not successful”. Later that day I found out it was the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (the day Carmelite nuns renew their wedding vows to Our Lord…).
The next day was my future feast day in Carmel of the Seven Sorrows of Mary Who I would be named after and Whose rosary I attribute my life to; that same day I even received my job back at Ace. I was hired on the spot over the phone. My advisor’s prayer was heard! Our Lord triumphed in His cross and came to my rescue and Who was there alongside me the entire time?
None other than Our Lady, and Her sweet Seven Sorrows! Our Lord gave me Colorado State University, but Our Lord was in turn asking me: “will you give it up for ME?” I offered up the “Ram” and it was a wedding present to the Bridegroom. It all began with Saint Paul.
All the way up until Ken’s death, our motto became Roman’s 8:28. We would sign our letters with it when I entered Carmel. The very last time I saw Ken in person was a private speakroom visit in Carmel and we again would relate back to all things working together for the good.
This part will serve as a great segway and introduction to Part Three of my Saint Paul Series, because the Carmel I came from had a lot of systemic issues that nearly destroyed my faith and Ken visited me at the peek of this season of pain for a surprise speakroom visit. This February or March, 2025, he was diagnosed with a type of head cancer that was fast spreading and he relayed to me in so many words that he didn’t have much of a chance, or time left.
I began praying fervently for months that he would get a miracle cure through Saint Philomena and convert to the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church before death. I even called a Latin Mass parish in his area to have them on standby in case he wanted to convert. I had a Mass offered for him for a miracle CONVERSION (conversion of Saint Paul?). This past August, I learned that he was essentially living in hospice at home and could die anytime and that he was fading fast.
I was on a discernment trip and on August 13th I received a messaged that they removed his oxygen and he could no longer speak. I made a phone call to my Dad who put me on speakerphone where I was told he could only hear me. I prayed a Memorare, Ave Maria and invoked Christ the King and specifically thanked him for always supporting me in all God called me to do. Aflavia was next to me during this phone call, leaning on my shoulder!
I told him Mass was offered for him and that we have always had a love of Saint Paul and Roman’s 8:28. When I hung up the phone my Dad said he died IMMEDIATELY and I later found out he died right at the “amen” of my prayer because they had a finger on his pulse.
My Dad later relayed that he never saw anything like it. That they removed his oxygen, and usually people die right away or soon after the oxygen is removed, but he held on for one or two days MORE and then died right at “amen”, and then turned yellow I was told. Do you remember what August 13th is? The anniversary of Our Lady’s death and the feast day of the Holy Name of Philomena. I somehow knew, through the intercession of Mary” and the death at “amen” that he must have made it to purgatory.
Before Ken died I tenderly called him “Coach Ken”. That originally came from our ties to Cross Country and Track, but it was so much more than that! He “Coached” me by helping me stay on the narrow path, the isle of that which leads to the wedding. I feel closer to him now in his death and don’t separate him from Saint Paul. The heart of Paul is the Heart of Christ and the heart of Ken… is the heart of Saint Paul.
Ken understood, especially after that divine Providence football game, that even when the going gets tough, and all hope seems lost, that “blessed is the man who ENDURETH temptation: for, when he hath been proved, he shall receive the crown of life” (James 1:12-18). How indeed does one “endure” as Saint Paul teaches? The just man endures by relying solely on Providence: YOU TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING! How does one wait well? With “expectation”, of course!
The Song of Songs doesn’t end with the wedding, it ends with the bride WAITING for Our Lord to come fetch her for the wedding. The song is the preparation. We know this because the Book of the Apocalypse says, “the bride hath made herself ready”. What does she do in her wait? She sings. “A NEW canticle.” The New Jerusalem? The name Jerusalem fittingly means: HE WILL SEE TO IT. The Church’s name is just a fancy translation for Providence.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? And Paul is the Best Man and Father. I’m reminded of a song that changed my perspective on suffering forever when I was in 6th grade. The lyrics began with “I’m thinking it’s a sign, that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they are perfectly aligned” and “I hope this song will guide you home” as well as, “they will see us waving from such great heights… everything looks perfect from far away.”
The “kiss” and “perfectly aligned” reminded me of the bride’s first proclamation in the Canticles of “let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth.” This verse is smothered in the divine and what it symbolizes is the bride’s nature joining to that of her Bridegroom’s: They become ONE in spirit. She might not understand His ways, but indeed “everything looks perfect from far away” and “the freckles” in this Married Couple’s eyes are indeed “perfectly aligned.”
This was miraculously confirmed yesterday when I was writing this post in honor of the Gentile Prince Paul and Ken, when I “randomly” found a letter from the latter tucked away in a bag of art supplies, dated from the start of this year and the only reason I “found” it was because I was looking for scotch tape in my art supplies. How on earth did a letter of Ken’s end up in there? It was Saint Paul’s Providence, of course.
I couldn’t believe what I read from Ken. He reminded me, in his letter, the story of Bilbo Baggins from Lord of the Rings, where Bilbo is making his way through Mirkwood Forest and is asked to find the tallest tree to survey how much more of their journey through the forest they have left. When Bilbo climbs to the top, his heart sinks when he sees no end in site to the trees.
Ken reminded me that the tree Bilbo chose, unbeknownst to him, happened to be at the lowest part of the valley and so they didn’t have the proper perspective. Isn’t this what Providence is all about? We usually don’t see the full picture and thus, Ken reminded me that the best place we can go in times of confusion is not the highest place, but the lowest, on our knees in prayer. With humility, through the example of Saint Paul we say to Jesus and Mary: “YOU take care of everything!”
~End~
The song that I call the “surrender song” and the Chaplet of Surrender I began saying at the start of 2025 called the “One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Chaplet” (Surrender Chaplet)
Child, by CHPTRS
Child of Mine
I know it hurts this time
The weight of it all familiar
Rest assured
We won’t forget her
No matter the cost or burden
Child of Mine
I know in time you’ll find
That all We want is good for you
And rest your head
Close your eyes and let
Us carry the cost and burden
Remember the words I whisper dear
Open your eyes and know that We’ll be here
Trust in the Arms that hold you near
Open your heart and know that We’ll be here
One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Chaplet (Surrender Chaplet) Instructions:
1.) On the Pectoral Cross of Our Lord, Peter and Paul and the two John’s say, “The Holy Church of Lateran is the Mother and Head of all the Churches in the city and the world.”
God the Father my Creator, You take care of everything.
God the Son, my Lamb, Prince and my Husband, You take care of everything.
God the Holy Ghost, my Fire and my Spiritual Director, You take care of everything
Mary, my Mother, Queen and my Best Friend, Our Lady of Mount Carmel and Mater Ecclesia, You take care of everything.
Saints Joseph and Michael, Guardians of Ecclesia Romana and of The New Jerusalem, You take care of everything.
Elijah and Henoch, my Living Pillars and Watchmen, you take care of everything.
Peter and Paul, my Pillars and Watchmen, you take care of everything.
John the Baptist and John the Beloved, Our Lord’s Groomsman, Best Men and my Watchmen, you take care of everything.
2.) On Saint Joseph and Saint Michael medal:
Bride of Christ prayer to Saint Joseph:
Saint Joseph the valiant, just and true
Terror of demons, none like to you
Saint Joseph the courageous,
Make of me a warrior, Christ’s bride, Mary’s martyr. Make of me a mirror of your patience
The Good Saint Joseph, pure like the dove Faithful spouse of my Queen, father to my Love
My loyal Saint Joseph protect me this day, Safeguard my virginity and keep the devil at bay, Amen.
Sancte Michael:
Sancte Michael Archangele, defende nos in proelio; contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium.
Imperet illi Deus, supplices deprecamur: tuque, Princeps militiae Caelestis, satanam aliosque spiritus malignos, qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo, divina virtute in infernum detrude. Amen.
3.) On Elijah and OLMC medal say, Elijah and Henoch, my living pillars and watchmen, come, return. Convert the jews, convert the gentiles. Be the apostles of the triumph of the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary and for your divine mission against anti christ. You take care of everything!
On the three beads for Elijah and Henoch
*God the Father my Creator, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
*God the Son, my Lamb, Prince and my Husband, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
*God the Holy Ghost, my Fire and my Spiritual Director, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
4.) On the medal of Peter and Paul say, “thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build My Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against her” and “for I am jealous of you with the jealousy of God. For I have espoused you to one husband that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.” Please be my rock, wedding ring, guide, my pope, my spiritual director and my best man. You take care of everything!
On the three beads for Peter and Paul
*God the Father my Creator, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
*God the Son, my Lamb, Prince and my Husband, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
*God the Holy Ghost, my Fire and my Spiritual Director, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
5.) On the medal of the two Johns say, “behold the Lamb of God” and “come, and I will show you the bride, the wife, of the Lamb.” Please prepare the way, prepare a place, prepare the wedding, prepare the wedding garments. Be my priest, find me a priest. Thank you so much for the Book of the Apocalypse, the Land of the Eagle and the symbol of the eagle.
On the three beads for John the Beloved and John the Baptist
*God the Father my Creator, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
*God the Son, my Lamb, Prince and my Husband, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
*God the Holy Ghost, my Fire and my Spiritual Director, You take care of everything, Pater Noster.
6.) On the Medal of Saint Bernard of Clairvaux say, Saint Bernard of Clairvaux, my earthly and heavenly spiritual director, please transubstantiate my fear into Mary’s perfect charity.
HIS PRAYER TO THE SHOULDER WOUND OF JESUS
O Loving Jesus, meek Lamb of God, I a miserable sinner, salute and worship the most Sacred Wound of Thy Shoulder on which Thou didst bear Thy heavy Cross, which so tore Thy Flesh and laid bare Thy Bones as to inflict on Thee an anguish greater than any other Wound of Thy Most Blessed Body. I adore Thee, O Jesus most sorrowful; I praise and glorify Thee and give Thee thanks for this most sacred and painful Wound, beseeching Thee by that exceeding pain and by the crushing burden of Thy heavy Cross to be merciful to me, a sinner, to forgive me all my mortal and venial sins, and to lead me on towards Heaven along the Way of Thy Cross. Amen.
Our Lady of Mount Carmel and Mater Ecclesia, ora pro nobis, You take care of everything!
7.) On the Pectoral Cross recite the opening prayer, but instead in Latin as seen on the below pictured Cross.
Carmelite Sister Martyrs 